To Concede

I was sitting here trying to remember the words to a song but it took too long
And there was nothing going on outside no sounds no movement, nothing
At all
Then I remembered when he sang "if you believe..."
And I remembered what I didn't want to.
Creeping flashbacks
There was a time when I thought I was alone in the world and the dead leaves curled
But there was always someone I thought, nagging at the back of my neck, always
Then I thought what I didn't want to think
And I thought I heard someone
Laughing visualizations
Then I caught myself talking to that other one when the conversation had begun
I was caught in a dark room in a dark house glancing out my front window, bewildered
And I got caught up in his whispers
White noise
I wanted to ask him why, so many things I didn't understand, give me a hand
Yet somehow I knew the reasons why even if only he knew, confused
I could not fathom why I didn't know
Mental fog
So I determined that I disconnected all the things that I rejected
And determined I was insane with self blame, easy
But he determined he was better
Ego centric
The cards of the deck that are now in his hand move about at his command
And I watch as my hand begins to shake, intimidated
So I folded
Shut down
As the chips fall
To his full house.