The Twin

Ever feel like you have a shadow?
Someone constantly watching over your shoulder?
Even though you know they aren't there?
I'm not talking about ghosts or guardian angels.

More than just a voice
More than just a gut reaction
Someone who may not give a choice
To you or what you do.

Someone so clear within yourself
Can make you feel like someone else
Can make you feel they may be real
Send cold shivers up your spine
Make you feel erotic
Make the world seem a million miles away

How do you live with that other creature
How do you tell reality from imagination
How do you break from the spell your under
How do two halves become whole

When each side is at odds with each other
And no one is willing to give an inch
And the other feels so much stronger
Yet there are times you feel like you've won

Why does it keep coming back
Why can't it just be me
I never asked for it to be
And somehow I owe it all to him

I just want control
I want it to be the right way
But there are times I don't know what that is
I can't tell good from bad

He pushes one way I push back
Each disagreement is a mental attack
He knows my weaknesses and exploits that
How do I unravel his code

For the sake of my sanity
This is how is has to be
But no matter how much I learn
He always changes

I never get caught up
I never pin him down
I'm always under his thumb
Under his will

He just lets me have a turn
From time to time
Just to prove he's kind
Just to show he's fair

I say I am sure I don't want to be
This monster lurking inside of me
But the truth is getting harder to hide
And with each day I'm letting him slide

And there's no help anywhere
My cries fall on deaf ears
My wishes fall into silent chasms
My hopes fade away.